Remembrance Sunday

There where some things that I was certain of as a child, for instance the fact that I would never move house, that all cats where girls and all dogs boys, that when I grew up, like my parents, I would go to university and finally that when I was properly grow up I would have a big white wedding and my dad would walk me down the isle to Mr. Right.
           On growing up I discovered that unfortunately all these things are in fact untrue.
I discovered cats weren't all girls and dogs weren't all boys mainly through watching Disney, films such as The Aristocats and 101 Dalmatians, and I wasn't that phased, I could handle it. Then I moved house which was rather exciting because my old house was a bungalow so, naturally, stairs excited the hell out of me. The move was a pretty easy thing to deal with what with the exciting prospect of meeting new people and living by the sea (plus the stairs). Though it wasn't all dandy as  I was moving away from my next-door-to-london position, my family, my friends and my drama group. Then I decided that I wanting to go to Acting school rather than Uni and now I find myself learning monolouges and the like for auditions which is another scary thing though also incredibly exciting and interesting. You see non of these changes to my thought really made much different, the fact that cats aren't all girls? yeah I can live with that a cat has gotta get some lovin' somewhere.   No these things are all fine and dandy as far as I'm concerned. But the thing I can't stand, the thing that I can't get my head round no matter how hard I try is the fact that my dad is never going to walk me down the isle. Not only that but he'll never hug me again, no more singing round the house or ridiculous dancing, I even miss his bad cooking, no one could make fruit salad the way he did, with almost half a bottle of vodka!
          For those of you that didn't know my dad died on the 11/5/2012 of Cancer. Cancer's a bitch eh?
          I watched him slip away over a period of about 4 days and if i'm honest it was shit, but at least that was the only time I saw him properly suffer.
         I am pretty sure however that I am the last person he said anything loving to though. You see every morning before school I would go into my parents room and show my dad what I was wearing, give him a twirl and ask him how I looked, he would always tell me I look beautiful and then I'd tell him that I love him and he would say it back, and that's exactly what happened the day he went into hospital. A little lame I know but it was our 'thing' our routine and I shall hold that memory forever.
 I don't know why i'm writing this, I just needed to get it out I guess. I just miss him so much.